Being Present in Discomfort?
Can I feel the butterflies in my stomach and hear the birds singing :)
Maybe I do not need to be the fixer, maybe I’d prefer to be The Listener & The Allower…
The seed above, the tree below - thank you
for planting the seed :-)I seek to numb because there is discomfort in my system… No I don’t actively do it in a form of an addition - however, I am aware the need to escape when things get hard - to hide, to retreat - to find a recluse to soothe.
If the present is the best place to be, then why is it sometimes difficult to be fully here?
I don’t intend to write lots and lots but rather allow what’s brewing in me to arrive here softly.
Through this lens, it makes sense why we would leave the present:
The safest place, ‘here’ may not the safest place according to the body.
We do not determine this - Neuroception is a term which in my loose interpretation, is the way in which our bodies and brains work together to determine quickly whether or not to ring the alarm!
- If it decides there is no safety, the alarm sounds and while this alarm is on, our bodies do whatever it can to give us relief - even if that means taking us out of the present.
This is ironic, because the present is the only place we’re in, so not being safe here, is a sad to me and yet to is a wise thing the body has learned.
- I spent some time not feeling fully into my body. As I feel more and more - I am honestly pretty uncomfortable with the increased sensitivity. There is a desire to want to pull away - however there was a time I begged to feel more than just numbness - so I feel gratitude for the discomfort - Feeling the butterflies in my belly and I the birds singing.
Can you feel something in your body and hear a sound that is pleasant in this moment?
Regret and Gratitude in the same pot.
If I catch myself regretting all this feeling I remind myself at the same time of how thankful I am, to have any feeling full stop.
It is not the smoothest ride, yet it is still a ride.
From this, I see:
If I want to see the light, then I also must learn to want to see the dark - it is the dark that makes the light light..
So, all of that is to say there are many ways we can feel more grounded - first of all hearing feelings from the body - right now I am feeling anxious - so I welcome it - In this way, we don’t make our bodies feel bad for feeling.
Giving it more reassurance, rather than adding more panic:
We might say‘Oh Lord, this is bad, this is bad,’ and we can also say ‘it is okay…. I am here… we can take our time.’
When we welcome it -we can inquire:
what does this anxiety, or {insert your emotion} need?
What would make this moment even a little bit easier?
Maybe the answer, is I need to pull away…that’s okay, Let there be no second questioning the body :)
There is so much more that meets the eye, when we take a look from different branches of the tree.
Letting the body be our Guide
Listening & Allowing
Being here, however here is, is a mighty stepping stone towards nourishing our emotions, our bodies and our souls :)
P.S. It is quite funny, as I apply my own insights, I notice my body is releasing this anxiety in the form of tremoring my right leg, which is often the way animals release tension - if we are open, sometimes our bodies most definitely know the way :)
Thanks for stumbling here, to read this piece, may it bring some warmth :)
Thanks for reading :)
With Love,
D.K.
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This was phenomenal writing. Earlier, we spoke about this, and you were able to expand, transform and present the feeling so effortlessly. We get so stuck in a loop, sometimes lost in thoughts and what-ifs. When this happens, I try to use the colours of a building, the name of the car that went by, or the colour of the wall. Using a physical element in the space brings me back to reality, in essence, the present. I enjoyed reading this.